The Worst System Out There, Except For The Others

So, who's going to be the party nominee? Neither major political party is offering much in the way of an acceptable choice.

On the Democratic side, Hilary seems likely to get the nod. Obama hasn't got the experience, Edwards hasn't got the following, Kucinich seems to be thought of as the house elf by the party, and an elf can't be President. Howard Dean is apparently still stuck on that primal scream issue, or he'd be running, and still a better choice than anyone else out there.

Hilary voted for the war, no matter what she says now, as did Edwards. He at least apologized for it, but neither of them is reassuring. Whether you meant to do it or not, no matter if you got snookered by Bush and friends or believe that attacking Iraq was a good idea, you have no business running the country. I saw through the "give the prez a nice big stick so the diplomacy will work" argument; why didn't they? Maybe I am a freak, but I want a President who is demonstrably smarter than me, not dumber.

Obama wasn't in a position to have any direct impact on the policy, so his exclamations of his opposition to it ring a bit hollow for me, and the experience thing is a sticking point, too. Instead of running after not completing one term in the Senate, I wish he would've. Even after a single term, he would've been so electable, I'd have gladly put money down on him in Vegas.

On the Republican side, you have Rudy the Criminal, Mitt the Stuffed Shirt, I-heart-Huckabee who will dissolve the last vestiges of the wall between church and state, Fred Thompson who doesn't even seem that interested, but apparently wasn't doing anything else, and the lunatic fringe Libertarian Republican, Ron Paul.

Why would anyone vote for any of them, except out of some misplaced sense of party loyalty?

I guess I will vote for Hilary, but not happily. If I win a lotto jackpot before June, I may just run myself.

HELIUM SHORTAGE INCOMING! MAN THE LIFEBOATS!

Kim McGuire of the St Louis Post Dispatch is reporting that the nation's Hydrogen reserves are becoming depleted. Estimates place a 10 year window on the complete and total annihilation of the reserve, where stockpiling ceased in 1995 for budgetary reasons. Among other potential issues associated with this phenomena, such as fewer floating ballons over the nations various parks and an average mean decrease in pitch of the national voice, the article reports that helium prices have risen 50% in the past year.

So, there you have it: 10 years to save a precious national resource, or face a world of parties with earthbound balloons and only the naturally squeaky-voiced enunciating thusly.

Conserving helium is, unfortunately, probably not the answer. With just under 10% of the reserve depleted last year alone in the face of the precipitous price increase, even harsh rationing can only prolong the inevitable. The only true answer to this issue is to mine new helium from the natural gas it occurs in. As this is not cost effective, it may take Congressional or White House intervention to bring this about, probably both.

It may be time to panic. Maybe not.

I think I have the answer. George W. Bush, dressed as Donald Duck, needs to go speak to a joint session of Congress. And he needs to say, "...the heck with the cost!" and bring a sufficient supply of helium for a lengthy, impassioned plea on behalf of the nations' children and ballon twisters, along the lines of his gyno-plea of several years ago (Good Docs aren't able to practice their love...)

Yes, Mr. President, forget the Palestinian issue; nobody believes you care about it anyway. Dress up as the most famous duck in the world, head on over to the hill and suck on a helium ballon intermittently as you plead for Congress to legislate helium mining.

Let this be your legacy.