There is a reason they call it "Crackberry"

Mr. President, please be brave. You do not need the Blackberry. You have people now, like 305 million of us. The New York Times is reporting that your endorsement would be worth millions, but of course, chances are you don't get that deal because you already have a job.

Blackberry use has been compared to drug addiction, and it may be time for you to go cold turkey. This will be a small sacrifice, compared to the rest that you will make in the next x number of years. Be brave.

Now, please, place the Blackberry on the table near the nice Secret Service agent, and step away from the table. Sit behind your desk, and if it helps, look away. Go to your Happy Place, but leave thoughts of the Crackberry behind. Before you know it, it will seem like you were never dependent.

A grateful nation stands by, poised to applaud this and a plethora of brave acts from you and your staff in the coming years.